Dreamzland Of Pig

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Planning

Gonna start planning for Taiwan trip with Daniel, Bee and her bf, Alson.. Hmm.. There's a lot of places we wanna go in TW.. The trip will be 7 days 6 nights or Maybe 8 days 7 nights.. LoL!!

We had set on the hotel rooms.. Now is which flight company we going fly with.. LoL!! Looking at prices and everything.. Heez..

We like so Enthu can.. LOL!! I not will there be more ppl joining us in this trip.. LoL!! Well.. I had listed out some places to Bee.. We will be going Keelung as nothing much there.. But KaoShiung is Confirm as she wanna go see DaLang's wall.. Hmm.. I dunno I got any place I wanna go a not.. But I wanna go visit Dan Shui again for the night scenery.. I have yet found the Lover's bridge.. Heez!!

Ok we got a lot things we feel like doing.. Going to play theme park also.. And I think I will bring my lappy there again.. LoL!! Oh ya today I went for my medical.. Hmm.. Kind of not optimistic.. But I will try to stay healthy.. Heez..

School coming to an end in 2 weeks for this term.. Exams coming.. I looking forward to LZX concert.. Hahaz.. Then also upcoming short get away next week.. Heez.. I gonna finish my project as well.. So much things to do and I feel time just ain't enough sia.. But I gonna plan my time.. Cannot always delay this and that.. LoL!!

Well.. Some of the things or situation seems to be out of place.. I will try my best to get it back in place too.. Heez.. I am kinda lucky in some ways ya.. Even when facing probs.. There's always so many ears, hands and companion to tell me tat nothing is going wrong if I could face it and change it.. Heez..

Thanks for making me stronger and richer in thinking.. I am really grateful for helps given.. Not going to disappoint anyone.. Heez.. Ok time to go bed.. Hahaz.. Tml will always be a better day even when I dun even believe in tml again.. Heez..

Into A World of Emptiness @ 21:55

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

sLeepy

Slept only a few hours.. Wootz.. Went to meet Serene as accompanying her to the place I went interview.. She is also being asked to go for 2nd interview..

After tat went to PS.. Walk around.. I got to crap to keep myself awake as I know I am dying to head for bed.. My brain isn't functioning and I making it to spin and work instead resting it..

Daniel came to look for us.. We went to have dinner.. Then after tat Serene left for home.. While Daniel and I went to take a walk.. I can't withstand my brain.. It's giving me signal tat its dying.. Juz like my phone.. All low batt sia.. Wat the...

Kinda a long day since 12pm.. I am feeling dead.. Headed home after tat.. Mum talked to me.. I totally dunno how to response.. My brain had switch off.. Even now blogging.. I forcing my brain to focus..

I may start to distance myself from people but I will slowly reattached tat broken path.. It's really a blow to get backstab especially by family members and people close.. Anyway I decided to put all this behind me.. I still need time to get close my peeps again.. I am juz afraid... Well.. I really need to slp le.. Freaking tired..

Into A World of Emptiness @ 21:30

原來醋那麼好吃

Juz had a conversation with my mum before sleeping.. Was talking about what Granny told her yest.. I m angry still.. But think no matter how angry I should spare a thought for my mum as she is the facing the bullets..

Well.. It's then after recollecting of the many incidents.. I then realized tat I should be laughing coz bcoz the people are stupid to be jealous over me.. I didn't know I got so much stuff to be jealous off..

I should be proud of myself sia.. Thanks to mum telling me why they wanna stab me bcoz they can't win me.. Tat's y they stab me to prove tat they are better.. Wat for fall for their trap.. LoL..

Bcoz I got attention from people without saying anything.. I got the love from all and this is much enough to make people ard me to be jealous.. What they do by hurting me was to get attention from people ard me..

After listening, I kind of feel like.. Hmm.. This ppl is stupid and I kind of dumb to fall for it.. LoL!! I know what they are jealous about and I should thank them sia.. For letting me know tat who truly dote on me and I should be return tat favor as well.. Letting them know tat they nv 白疼我.. Hahaz..

I m glad tat my mum stopped me from hot headed for a day and I never angry for more than a day b4.. It's really dun feel good being angry.. Hahaz.. Maybe I should really get my tolerance level upz.. This is not the best and I think I could do better.. Training in progress by dealing with 小人.. Hahaz..

To the 小人們: 如果你們那麼愛吃我的醋，就盡管放馬過來.. 我在也不會被你們的奸詐行為, 讓我再度的發票.. 因為你們的愚蠢會讓我更堅強.. 現在這里說聲謝謝啦.. 哈哈哈哈哈哈!!

After days of moodiness.. Should say I could pick myself up.. Hahaz.. When I look back nw, I juz have a good laugh at it.. LoL!!

Into A World of Emptiness @ 02:43

Monday, April 11, 2011

There Will Be Vulgarities in This Post!!

Sat went JB to bring Li Ling out.. Who knows will kanna stab again.. This is not the first.. Fxxk.. I already said.. Things dun need me to find out, it will automatically find its way to let me know..

I really hate backstabbers.. I flared my anger at my mum who asked me not create trouble for Xiao Jiu.. Fxxk man.. He sided his wife.. What for I being so nice to help him safeguard his money.. I dun wan play nice either..

Another thing also keep me moody for today.. Which I dun wish to talk about it.. I dunno ever since few weeks back.. I felt I lose trust in certain things.. Certainly I will think carefully what to say or not to.. I really afraid of kanna backstab..

I got to thanks those people who tell me stuff but I felt u also believe in what the other person say.. When u got closer with the party who backstab me.. I would withdrawn myself from u.. I really prefer to talk less nowadays.. Keeping my thoughts to myself..

Actually today wanna go on MSN de.. But after certain thoughts.. I close msn window without signing in.. I went on FB but did nth much on there.. Shopping online but I bought nothing as I today really no interest in anything..

KC msg me.. I didn't reply.. He called.. I hung his phone.. I dun wanna talk to anyone.. I force myself to sleep.. But my brain doesn't stop thinking about the matters and scenarios keep playing in my brain..

I wanna seek Dad to talk but he couldn't be found anywhere.. I am so frustrated.. I felt so lost.. I dunno what to do.. Woke up when I heard the door bell rang.. Stone on bed.. KC came my hse.. He asked me why never on my room lights.. I said I wanna stay in the dark for awhile as this is what I am feeling deep down..

Talk to him a little.. He said sometimes I ought to ask why instead of keeping quiet.. I said I can't stop ppl from telling others stuff which I dun wish to share anymore.. I dun feel the closeness anymore.. Its also why I seldom msg ppl on MSN coz I dun feel the need to let ppl know what I am thinking as it will be snub at..

After tat I went to bath while mum and KC had their dinner without me.. I do not have anymore appetite.. I drank the soup as I asked my mum to cook.. Granny called and talked to mum.. After hanging up.. Mum told me what Granny says..

It drives me up and turned it into a rage.. I wanted to go JB and confront her.. KC stopped me.. He said I being too rash.. Keep my cool.. How to... She not only once stab me.. Fxxking idiot.. I got enough of this shit.. I kanna give her a peace of my mind.. Including hammering her upside down.. I dun care.. I not going to give respect to her anymore.. My Xiao Jiu is such a weakling.. Let me as a junior teach her some lesson.. Bloody idiot bitch..

Mum got scolded by me as she said let her be.. Why I poke my nose.. What the Fxxk.. She backstab me to granny.. Now I know.. I dun go confront and let her be.. Fxxk man.. Like that she keep think I am good to be bully..

I tell my mum ok fine.. Next time whatever happens dun tell me.. I not interested.. What reunion dinner.. U all can fxxking enjoy that dinner and I not interested.. I gonna cut tat bloody ties with them.. Dun ask me go visit granny anymore.. I won't step into that dirt house anymore.. I gonna see them suffer.. Fxxking idiots trying to be troublemaker.. I shall let them see what is really call troublemaker and I make sure they live like hell!!!

KC said I shouldn't be tat mean.. I said I being nice and never wanna calculate every single thing with her.. Now she like tat.. I one shot return her.. I always say I forget.. In actual fact I remember every single damn thing.. Including the incident with KC's mum which almost turn us into enemy..

I listened to KC and did not go JB as it may affect Granny.. She's old to take any blow.. I should not be creating problem for Granny.. That bloody bitch is lucky.. Because she is staying with Granny.. If not I would by all means go and hammer her like hell.. I will make sure either she dies or I die.. I rather the kids got no mother than having a mother who do nothing in upbring her kids but push blame to others for spoiling her kids..

I also told my mum no more stuff for her kids.. They suffer also none of our biz.. Their fate turns like tat, blame it on their mum.. Her kids will eventually blame their mother for not being love by us anymore.. Whenever they call.. We will just cut short.. Dun wanna talk to them..

I just curse her to death in front of my mum.. I dun care.. Mum say Granny said my mouth very wicked.. Then I said better than a wicked heart.. Wicked heart die faster.. I dun care my mum wanna be close to them a not.. But from now onwards.. I have nothing to do with my JB relatives.. It's not they abandon me.. But I abandon them.. I also make sure they will no income coming from my side..

I also going to withdraw my shares in my uncle shop.. I dun wan to help anymore.. His business flop also none of my business.. Anyway all this gonna happens, he ought to thank his wife for every contribution.. I am really pissed and angry.. If I got to see her.. I sure kill her and I sure beat Lai to a pulp for causing harm to Li Ling.. I really dislike bullies.......

Into A World of Emptiness @ 21:45

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Thoughts Cleared

Talked to KC on phone yest.. Mainly was to apologize for flying plane on him.. Then he was concerned about what happen.. Told him everything.. He said that sometimes don't bother about what others think as what they say basically because they never think in your shoes but in their own instead..

I kind of agree la.. Who will be so free to think in your position.. What matter most is they enjoy a not.. Lol.. I just dump everything back in my head.. Went to meet Bee for Lunchie at Membina.. We kind of take very long time to think what to eat.. Lol.. In the I had mince meat noodle and Bee had mixed rice.. LoL!!!

We shared some pointers here and there.. Kinda random Bee asked me whether Someone died already a not.. I dun wan mention name la.. Kind of not good since its publicly published.. LoL!! Then I told her I saw him once at Bugis but was being pulled away by my friend.. Coz I was practically stoning on the spot when I saw him queuing just right in front of me.. Lol..

Bee was asking wat was I feeling back then.. My reply was numb.. Lol.. Bee managed to persuade me to walk back with her and took a bus down PS.. Coz Hailey bought a puzzle for me, but sad thing is I already had tat set.. So got to change to another.. Heez.. I chose Chip & Dale as no more Pooh.. Sad case man.. Chip & Dale puzzle also last box.. What the.. LoL!!

Shop around PS and bought some stuff.. Hahaz.. It's not cheap.. I enjoying shopping while my poor mum was waiting for me at City Square.. When I remember.. I hurried down to meet her.. LoL.. Shop around City Square and I renew my Popular card.. Got some stuff at Popular.. Hahaz.. After finishing shopping.. Went home to slack..

Log back in MSN and chatted with Bee on TW trip.. She was checking the air ticket price while I was looking at the hotel rooms.. I wanna try the one at Kun Ming St.. LoL!! The reason why is because directly opposite is Stage.. Bee will be over the moon as she can peeped through the windows to see if she can catch her LZX a not.. LoL!!

While chatting on MSN, I was doing the puzzle which I had exchange for.. Did it within my usual time for 200pcs.. LoL.. Glue it & frame it.. Gonna pass it to Daniel.. Hahaz.. I started doing some other stuff.. Heez.. This is secret.. Wakakakaz.. My phone rang.. I thought who is it sia..

Throughout the day my mood finally turn for the better..... The phone call almost make me angry.. But well since I reminded myself what other did, say or comment.. I will be hecking care.. Tat somehow turns my anger away.. Wee~

Meeting Daniel for dinner at AMK.. Had Mos.. Hehez.. Receive msg from Victor tat exam results are in our letterbox.. What I am expecting really make me feel angry.. Reported to KC about my results.. He kp at me.. Ya.. Sometimes because of distraction.. Just hope he could stop pushing blame to people.. Its my fault for allowing people to disturb me during my exams and could not focus..

While he was raring at me, I continued doing my stuff.. I finally finished doing it.. Heez.. I am satisfied with my work man.. Hahaz.. Although I made a mess of my table, hands and threw lots of materials away.. But in all, its worth it.. Heez..

Tomorrow going agency to fill form.. Fri going interview.. I hope I could get the job.. Then my TW trip is secure.. I do not want to go overseas with my aunts.. After the whole country club thingy.. I swear I never want to be in the same room as them.. I practically cannot sleep.. Geez... A little noise could wake me up.. I totally woke up dunno how many times during the night.. Lucky now I am back home and could hug my bed to sleep.. This is the best then anywhere else.. Wahahaz... Alright.. I gonna head to bed after finishing my task.. Heez.. Satisfactory.. Heez.... I super long never feel so satisfied with my work or should say doing things for a guy after that someone.. LoL!! This only Bee knows.. Hahaz...

Into A World of Emptiness @ 23:45

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Doubts Surfacing on Human Faces

Hmm.. Today I started to keep all my thoughts to myself.. Mummy was worried coz her first reaction was why she is seeing the past me surfacing again..

Keeping quiet, dun wanna talk much, give one word reply & being so much heck care.. Like treating the surroundings like air.. Well.. She keep asking me what happen that I decided to change.. I told her nothing and said this is good coz no longer people will see my temper, no longer I will care about what others did.. All I will do just laugh things off and won't even mind who offended who.. As I will tell myself that anything is none of my business and my business is none of others..

They poke their nose in.. They get nothing as I won't say.. Neither will I care about what is going on.. Even if I am unhappy with their actions.. I will also pretend never see and just do what I enjoy doing..

I no longer cares what the heck people is thinking.. Neither will I show my anger.. I will not even express anymore stuff.. I got no one to blame but blame myself for being too emotional towards everything.. I shall let my brain rule every single thing.. No longer wanna feel for it.. As I learnt enough and got enough.. I still prefer to feel and think with my brain instead..

No longer let my emotional rule my brain but the other way round instead.. If u ever wonder the reason why.. The reason is simple because it started with myself.. None others.. Actually I think like tat also good.. Everything just laugh it off and forget it.. I will rant lesser also.. Hahaz.. I just love my heck care attitude.. I should not have change back then.. It's such a regret man.. LoL!!

Slowly go figure out what's on my mind ba.. Lol.. When u really know.. In fact it's just a empty shell.. LoL!! In order to protect myself from being hurt.. This is the actions I am doing.. I am feeling happier now than before.. Hahaz.. I also starting to talk lesser le.. Hahaz.. Changing for better or worse.. No longer bothers me as I just wanna feel comfortable doing it.. Heez.. If u still have doubt what causes me to change.. Then let this doubt be in u coz u will never find the ans.. Give up ba.. Hahaz.... Nothing happens but I just feel like changing.. Hehez... This ans shall appease everyone.. If it doesn't, then let it be as it won't affect me anyway.. Wahahahahaz....

Into A World of Emptiness @ 22:45

Monday, April 4, 2011

I Miss Celebrating Birthday with Daddy

Well.. Had an early birthday celebration with Jacq, Alex, Winnie, Yan Fen & Daniel on last Monday.. I wanna Thanks Aunt Martha for organizing and celebrating my birthday by bringing me to Orchid Country Club.. She wanted to give me a happy and unforgetable one.. Therefore, it should be fun but some people just like to spoil mood.. I dun wanna say who.. Maybe I also spoil the mood.. Anyway, to be honest.. I making this year as my last to celebrate my birthday.. No more birthday celebration in future.. Really feeling damn tired after the whole damn bloody celebration..

I am no longer interested in celebrating.. After some careful thought about it over the days.. I think celebrating birthday is as bored as going chalet.. Maybe like what I am told.. Got the right friends to celebrate with then it will be fun.. But who are the right friends.. Hahaz.... It will be kept in thoughts..

I really wanna say I am too lucky.. Sometimes things I never knew will come to light without me having to waste any efforts to know.. The feeling although is lousy.. But also a lesson telling me how idiot I am.. I used to observe a lot.. But because I do not want to be cold to others.. I tried to talk more.. It seems this isn't doing good to me..

Well.. Before talking about tat.. Today went to USS to spend my day with Daniel.. Had lots of fun and tried the rides I didn't play the previous.. Well at least I feel happy playing and having fun..

Hmm.. Back to the topic.. I think I should stop being friendly to people.. Maybe when I dun bother.. Then I would not reveal my care.. When I dun reveal my care.. Then I would not feel pissed with what people do & make myself look like an idiot..

I should have stick to my heck care attitude all the way.. Changing to be close to humans getting me really tired.. When I heck care I got so much negative comments.. Now when I feel pissed with certain stuff because I care, also kanna negative comments.. I really prefer to be in my own world sia.. No one will know my thoughts.. No one will know when I am pissed and No one will ever know what I feeling..

I dun feel angry thinking about all this.. I just feel tat maybe keeping things to myself is better.. What for let people know.. Do they bother about how u feel? No.. They bother about what u feel about them and not how u feel when they said things to u..

Yeah there isn't fairness in this damn bloody world.. Then why am I trying to be fair.. Simple because I am an idiot who believe tat when u treat the person nice, in return they will do the same.. But in actual fact, what they return was a pile of shit.. I think I rant enough already...

Really I do not wish to celebrate my birthday anymore as I am reluctant to invite friends.. It's time to remember what I learnt this year.. I not going to forget.. I may forgive but not forget as this left a scar in my mind and soul.. Thanks!!

Into A World of Emptiness @ 23:00