Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Last Day Mugging for BM
Hmm.. Been Mugging BM the whole day.. It's basically more on reading and remembering the important points as too much to memorize..Bought a few cans of red bull to keep me awake as words made me sleep.. How I wish it could be change to numbers.. Hahahahaz...Hmm.. My classmate passed his M9.. Gratz.. During exam period he squeeze in his insurance exam.. Power and thumbs up de.. LoL.. Hmm.. Gonna chiong today and almost well prepared for tomorrow exam le.. Hehez..Putting off all my wonderings to the back of my brain.. Hmm.. Got a good news was today received news from SIS then went on msn to tell BaoZhuJie that Rainie Yang finally coming SG for her concert.. Wee~After my trip, I gonna meet her buy tix.. I have been waiting for this concert freaking long le.. Hahaz.. I am looking forward to next Monday also.. Flying out of SG.. Hehez.. Relax my mind, soul and heart.. Hahaz..Oh ya.. I have been recently watching Xin Bin Ri Ji intro by Jun Jie.. Super funny.. Really a time to watch when tensed with exams.. Heez... Alrightz.. A short update for today.. Heez...
Monday, August 30, 2010
FA Exam ~ Done
One paper down and one more to go.. Well.. Yest mug till 6am.. Thanks to Red Bull.. Hahaz.. Slept till 12 plus in the noon.. Then went to prepare.. Wanna head to Toa Payoh to buy Popeye and Koi then head to school meet Benson & Irene as Xavier will only reach near to exam timing..See the clock it is almost 1.45pm.. I changed my mind.. Took bus 48 to Farrer Road there to change bus to school.. Benson & Irene already there.. LoL.. So I went to buy my lunch.. Sat down and eat while I revise a little.. Hahaz..Taught Irene a little as she having doubts.. Not long Xavier arrived.. We then sat off to exam classroom.. Keeping my mind as blank as possible hoping I dun go blank later.. LoL... Wah.. The room freaking cold.. Took out my stationery and when seated then I realized I forgot my calculator.. Went to my bag again to take it and I peeped one last time at my book.. Hahaz..Not long exam started... Wah.. Its so coincidence lo.. The first question was what Irene asked me earlier in canteen.. Think she will have no problem tackling it liaoz.. Heez... I did all my calculations.. Hmm.. I chose different questions from them as when I looked at the concepts question, I remembered the ones I memorize.. Something good bahz.. Hahaz.. I forgot my depreciation instead.. Wootz..Finished my paper at 6.30pm.. Xavier left the room before us.. Went out and discussed the questions.. Hehez.. But since I do different questions from them then only can talk more on the main questions.. Lucky I did memorize my ratios as it is out in the main.. Lucky lecturer give unclear answer made us studied everything.. Hahaz..After exam, we went to have our dinner then bus down Toa Payoh for KOI.. As I wanna drink before exam.. Got the crave for it.. We also planned that on Wed after exam, we gonna go enjoy a little as distress time.. Hahaz.. This exam is burning our brain cells.. Too bad to say our brain not running on 1TB hard disk.. LoL...Reached home and decided to slack.. Gonna clear FA materials in my mind before I fully concentrate on BM.. LoL.. BM have lots of memorizing work to do.. But thanks to my friend who actually told me what I used to tell her before.. Read and understand.. Dun need memorize.. When u understand.. U will know how to tackle the questions.. Hahaz.. It somehow made me remember what I once said.. LoL..... I shall do that for my BM.. Hehez..Totally on relax mood now.. Tomorrow my tedious mugging shall start.. I gonna say whoever msg me tomorrow will get a null reply as I will totally ignore my phone and my com will be switched off till Wed.. Hahaz...Yest JJ intro me a show called Rookie's Diary.. I watched 2 episode liaoz.. Its super funny.. Hahaz.. I going to continue watch it.. Its available on youtube.. Hehez.. The actors really shaved their heads during the filming.. Thumbs up for their courage.. LoL..
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Updates!!!!!!
It's been some time that I update.. Hahaz.. This week is my study week.. Last weekend was the final for my enjoyment.. Since Monday, had started to plan my mugging schedule.. Kinda slack still although stress but well at this point of time I knew myself that no matter how I gonna memorize it, it will never gets into my brain..Hmm.. Thanks to my classmates calling me to tell me how's my test marks.. Haha.. Glad to get in between 60 ~ 70 marks.. Gladly that I should aim around there for my final paper for my FA.. For my BM, I jolly well gonna try all my best to attack the questions as my assignment may pull my marks down.. I not sure whether will it be but some how my instinct tells me it will.. Hahaz..Hmm.. This week kinda lose of concentration as exams is drawing near and yet did I had planned for Taiwan trip.. Most likely on Wed will start planning as that's mark the end for FA & BM exam.. Sch will resume only in mid Sept.. Hahaz...Well.. Mon was a relax day still for me.. Looked at my books a little and slacked a little.. LoL... When I see my books, my eyes were like.. I wanna zzz.. Hahaz.. Thinking back if I am at my Da Jiu's house.. I won't be so slack le.. Hahaz..Tues went back JB as Xiao Jiu asked me on some software thingy which apparently not important at all.. Wasted my time going back.. Roar!! But suan le.. Hahaz.. I know how much he wanted me to be back.. Sadly, my Msia PR got rejected.. Haiz.. Maybe will apply again in near future..On Wed, so coincidence.. My friend asked me to go Kbox.. Xavier called me in noon to ask also.. Hahaz.. It's so qiao.. LoL!! Hmm.. In the end, I turned him down.. LoL.. After Kbox went IMM to shop.. Upon this a lot of u whom know that why I had been going there for a long time.. But it's already memories kept in deep valley.. Went to get some misc stuff and shared Honey Baked Ham.. Hehez.. I love to eat that more than Picnic Ham.. LoL... That's marked the end of Wed..On Thurs, went to meet my 二姑 at the temple to pray ancestors.. Hmm.. Got burnt on my left palm and the candle wax dripped on my right thumb.. Wootz.. I felt so clumsy.. It seems that I am truly stessed out.. After that headed down to Airport to meet up with Benson.. Studied at T2.. It had a lot of changes.. No more power points.. Think Airport no longer allows people to study overnight ba.. Keep removing power points or locking it up.. Sad case.. Went JB for supper but gastric makes me uncomfortable.. Damn.. Appetite down to zero.. Any way that was happening for the past few days as well.. In no time, I gonna get sick again.. But I dun wanna be sick when going Taiwan.. LoL...Hmm.. Fri went to Tampines Library to meet Benson again.. Thanks to him.. I had some pointers to study for BM.. Well.. I knew nothing in BM.. He helped me to highlight some points and telling what is needed to study.. Felt so much easier and relieved.. But the worse thing is that next term, I gonna face this lecturer again.. Irene, Benson, Xavier & me gonna face her.. But we are doing different subs.. Benson & Xavier will be in Investment while Irene & me in Finance.. LoL.. She teaching this 2 subs.. Die liao le..Sat planned to study at my place.. Only Benson turned up.. Wootz.. Studied for FA.. Found a easier way to remember concept but I not sure will it works.. Gonna try.. Taught Benson on how to differentiate the accounts as what should be in trading a/c and what should under profit and loss.. Hmm.. Did practice for FIFO, LIFO and Weighted Average.. Hahaz... FA for me I gonna try to aim an A.. But BM, at least a B or C.. I will be glad as I am sure I have put in my efforts to study although I dunno what the heck it is all about.. Hahaz..Today I planned to mug for my FA.. Tomorrow after exam.. Chionging home to mug BM.. Same as Tues.. Time really passes so fast.. Exam coming.. After that I can set my heart for my Taiwan trip.. It's time to relax before I heading back to work force..Hmm.. Above all was a brief update of what I am doing and gonna do.. Well.. Recently talked to one of my close friend.. It's been long that we contacted.. Haha.. I hardly will contact people.. I also dunno why.. I dun take that kind of initiative.. Hmm.. But thanks to her.. I got to know things better. LoL.. Hmm.. She asked me something which sent me to think.. Well.. I may have or not that a person doesn't do what he/she says.. But some times its part of neglience or doesn't really matters to me.. Hmm.. But that sent me thinking as her question was what if it's your partner.. Well.. Then the situation is really different.. Hmm.. That's also why I do not wanna be in r/s.. Hahaz.. A lot to think and ponder.. Too much to be aware of.. Well.. Its hard to find people who are true and its hard to find people who will never take u for granted..I paused and think.. I told her that people will tend to say and do differently.. But if I found out that I am being make use of, then I jolly well will end everything.. The person better be smart as dun mess around with me.. Its like nothing is fair and square in this world.. Well.. There bound to have a lot of stuff we wanna know about people.. But sometime its through their actions tell it all.. Hmm.. I will trust a person at first but if the person is lying or playing monkey behind my back.. The truth will be out shortly.. I can chose to find out myself or not to.. So I told my friend.. If I gonna have a partner who aren't gonna be true to me, then wait till I found out it will be the time I not going to give any possible chance..Hmm.. There are a few dislikes that I dun like my partner to have.. But if it doesn't really affect me that much, I will just pretend I dunno about it.. Well I am always observing.. Sometimes I prefer to keep quiet.. My friends tend to feel that I am way to quiet when in group.. Hahaz.. I dun really know how to talk to people whom I just got to know.. I always need people to start the ball rolling.. I dunno how to initiate.. Hahaz.. Firstly, I dun like to have someone to tell me lies or throw blame to others.. What's wrong with owning up.. It will not be pain.. There is a saying when u tell a lie, u need more lies to cover up yr previous lie.. Then in the end.. Its very obvious that u are lying..Secondly I dun like people who make use of others to gain benefit to themselves.. Thirdly, I dislike people keeping secrets from me.. Better dun let me find out.. If not the trust that was once built will be down the drain.. Lastly, I dun like to be with a person who feels bored and wants someone in life..Well I had came across friends who are like that.. If I gonna find all this in a person whom I like.. Then jolly well go fly kite.. Haha.. I am super direct about all this.. As no one wants a person to be with u because he/she is bored and needs a companion.. That's not love at all.. LoL... Its more like trying to get a person to be there so that u are not bored.. But if the person not avail.. U still will find another person.. This isn't good to anybody..I dun care what I said hurts anyone.. Its my point of view.. Can't accept then buzz off.. Haha!! Alright.. I should go back to mug.. Hmm.. But like what my friend said to me.. U will not understand a person any better unless together.. Friend & being in relationship is totally different.. Jiayou my friend.. Hope u will find your xin fu & I will search for mine.. **Winkz**Had a good conversation with her after so long.. Hahaz.. Think I last saw her is last year.. LoL.. Exam really making my mates & I freaking out.. CONCEPTS!!!!! I need to get them into my brain by today.. Gonna head to sch tomorrow early too.. 3.45pm exam starts.. I wanna excel and not disappoint anyone.. Hehez.. All the best to my peeps for FA tomorrow..
Friday, August 20, 2010
Confusing Emotion
Well.. I got to thank those who showed me your concern.. I really appreciate your understanding and encouraging words.. Though its not easy to overcome all this but no worries I will 加油!!Well.. I plucked up the courage to tell mum.. She gave me a expression-less face.. I was dumb-founded.. I thought she would not be able to take it and burst in tears.. But she didn't.. She only tell me that she going to my Da Jiu's place.. I was totally shocked at how calme she is..But we normally know when a person showed u the calm face normally their internal was struggling.. I suddenly dunno what my mum is thinking.. I worried further.. I asked her is she ok.. She said ya and tell me go prepare for my class.. Then she packed her bag and went off...Hmm.. Today went for class.. I brought my writing notes but not my text book.. Its obvious I didn't bring my mind to school today.. Hmm.. Go to sign my attendance and went off..Went ECP to chill.. I wanna get rid of what I am thinking.. I kept thinking about the times I had with granny.. I faced lots of people leaving this world throughout my life till now.. Firstly, when I was 3.. My closest 3rd uncle, my dad's bro, left because he got drunk and fell in toilet.. Then when I was 9, my ah gong, my mum's dad, passed away because of stomach cancer.. 3 days later, 阿姨's husband whom also KC & KW's dad, Uncle Mike, passed away.. Then when I was 14, my beloved cousin, Willy Choo, passed away because of a car accident that happened few days ago which he didn't know that it had injured him but when he went to see doc its already too late.. His internal organs are bleeding.. I pitied my nephew whom are too young at that time..When I was 15, my dad's eldest sis passed on because of lung cancer.. When I was 16, struggling with school stress and N levels.. My Ah Ma left me, its was a pain as she looked after me most of the time when I came over to live in SG with her & my parents.. But I spent most of my time with her than my parents.. I hardly see my parents due to they came home like 12am.. When she left, my world became darkness.. Thanks to my dad, he showed me care & concern.. Pulled me out of darkness.. I became closer to him.. When I was 24, he left me.. I only really understand him was this 8 years.. Why the people who I am closed to, left me 1 by 1.. It is so pain that I tried to bear each and every one of it..Now I am 25, my Granny told me she is leaving anytime.. Why I have yet overcome the death of my dad, she had to leave.. There's too many why.. Nobody can really tell me how to overcome it.. But face it.. I can face all this but what about my feelings.. It is not dead.. Ya I have my mum to take care.. But I am worried is my mum.. I dunno she can take it or not.. I really scared she got depression.. Losing my dad is enough for her to go through at her age.. She's not young to me.. But like me, she hasn't got over the lost of my dad.. Now she had face the going to lose feeling of her mum whom to every one of us, she's healthy to say goodbye.. I always felt Granny could live more than 90.. More than Ah Ma actually.. My Ah Ma left this bloody world at the age of 92.. I hope Granny can live this long..Earlier I got home.. I looked at mum.. I could tell she cried.. I purposely do not want to come home early because with me around she will hide her emotions.. I put down my bag in my room, I walked back out and asked her, "Mummy, u dun seems right.. Did u call Granny?"Mum kept silence and looked at me.. Its so solemn.. I sensed things are not right.. Her eyes were teary.. I turned my eyes away as I know any moment I am gonna get my tears rolling.. I could feel the pain that was welling up in her heart.. Every night I could not sleep, I heard her calling out to my dad.. For some of u thought I am like to sleep till way after 12pm..I really feels that they dun even know a bloody thing that is going on.. Imagine I had been sleeping at 7am every morning.. Sleeping 5 hours a day.. It is not bloody enough for me.. I dun say doesn't mean that I slept more than enough.. I really dislike it when people shoot me right in my face saying I am hard to wake up.. When I do not have enough sleep I will wanna sleep more.. If u try to wake me up without letting me to sleep enough.. Then I could say, u got to be safe than sorry.. When I not enough sleep its better that u watch your words or u got shoot by me.. I may not have enough sleep.. As long as I am awake.. My mind is working.. I may speak nonsense.. But just dun try to be funny..Even my mum dare not wake me up.. Coz she know the reason why.. I told her.. So no matter what she will let me sleep till I wake up.. My emotional is going up and down.. I really feeling damn vex..This is a note to 黄光伟 (KW)..Eh.. Ah Pek... U idiot.. Post the stupid msg for what on my blog.. U need to be kick is it? Kns de.. I didn't ans yr call bcoz I am sleeping and for instance u give miss call doesn't mean need to reply as u gave 1 miss call = not urgent.. Returned for wat.. Plus u dun call me that often.. U didn't even msg me to return call and your msg in front only state "Eh this is an info of what Granny says....." Geez...... Its an info.. Then what do u expect me to reply u? U know I won't call back when I find it not important.. Btw granny didn't tell me about that.. I know u always big mouth.. No secrets can be kept.. That's why I hardly tell u things.. I rather tell Kor Kor.. What I tell u, u will tell your mum.. Idiot.. U wanna let people know.. Now I help u publicize.. Kns..Somemore hor.. I dun like to bluff granny.. Got means got.. Dun have means dun have.. Why muz u bluff her.. Anyway she knows I dun have.. If got I will tell her myself.. Dun need u be KPO!!!! Really an Ah Pek... So its obvious that u are bluffing her.. Lol.. Sunday u prepare to kanna scold by her lo.. I won't have to ease her.. U ease her yrself.. Wahahahaz.. **BaKa**
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Why It Reminds Me...........
Today went JB.. I had been trying to be happy after dad left me.. Joke around, play around with the kids.. Bring them go eat KFC and then bought food for Xiao Jiu..Mum went out shopping with Aunty Nik.. I told them next few weeks I won't be back to JB as after my exams I will be flying...After leaving JB went to meet John.. Went Bedok then Yishun.. I somehow felt not right.. I kept quiet and keeping my fingers crossed..When got home.. Mum looked at me.. Telling me Granny dun sound right today.. Then said Granny looking for me.. I told mum never mind.. Tomorrow then I call Granny..But who knows.. When I bath come out.. Talk to Serene awhile and hang up her call as helped mum to finish her food.. Then called John.. Talked less than a minute and hang up.. Thought let my phone had a good charge...But suddenly phone rang.. JB home called.. Hmm.. Wonder why so late.. I answered.. Its Granny.. Here's the dialogue.... My Granny speaks to me in Hainan.. I translate it..Granny: "Ling Hui.... Why u so late then reach home?"Me: "Oh.. I go out with friend ma.. Mummy say u find me... Is it because I today didn't go home visit u?"Granny: "Ya lo.. U naughty girl.. Granny cooked your fave.. But asked Aunty Nik bring down for u lo.. Erm.. I got a bad news to tell u.."Me: "Oh.. I will go back see u after my exams.. I wanna do Granny proud.. Hehez.. Erm.. What bad news? Dun scare me leh....."Granny: "Listen properly.. I may leave soon.. I not sure when but u got to promise me to take care of yourself, take care of Xiao Jiu & his family, Da Jiu, Mummy and Ah Cheng.. U are Granny's only hope... Remember u had always make me proud.. I leave them to u... Remember u are the pillar for them.."Me: "Why u telling me this? Did anything happen? U dun scare me.. Dun leave me like how Daddy did to me.. I won't be able to take this anymore.... Please tell me u will be ok..."Granny: "Silly girl.. U had knew about all this long ago.. U always trying to avoid this whenever I asked.. Since u tell me to tell u when I see or feel things not right.. Now I am telling.. U should be prepared.. I dunno when.. But can u promise me? If u want.. Try to be home as often as u can.. I will be happy if u are back every weekend.. If can't its ok.. But promise me to take care of them.. Dun let them being bully by u should know who....."Me: "Granny U making me scared....... Please dun tell me this.. I promised I will take of them no matter what.. I will do as u say.. I will not disappoint u.. But dun leave me alone.... I dun wan u to leave like what Daddy did.. Please tell me the day before u leaving.. Talk to me.. Let me accompany u to your last.. I wan to have u in my memories till your last.. I want eat all Granny's cooked food.. I wanna be with u.. I dun wan u to leave me.. Daddy just left last year... Dun make me go through another blow.. Granny please tell me u won't leave me..... Please....."Granny: "Silly de... Granny old le.. Anytime also will leave de.. U are the only girl in the family and the most obedient.. Granny can depend on u.. Dun go disturb Kor Kor.. Let him finish his course in US then tell him.. Dun think so much.. Granny will try to keep u company till my last.. I will talk to u everyday like when u were a baby till u grow up for school.. Go sleep ba.. Granny talked to u tomorrow.. But dun come back JB tomorrow.. Go to school.. Exam coming.. Go taiwan must enjoy yrself ok..."My reply is not important here as after that we hang up.. I really dunno what to say.. I am in dazed.. I have not been crying about anything.. Only thinking of dad then I will cry.. But my tears now flow as if its running tap.. Why.......... Its so sudden......I cannot tell mum about it... She won't be able to take it.. Last year she lost my dad.. How am I going to break the news to her that she may lose her mum too.. I am scared things would happen so soon till I can't react like my dad.. I dun wanna go through this again.. I really won't be able to take it.. Seriously I dunno what I am thinking now.. I can't imagine.. I feeling weak now in my heart.. Called Kor Kor.. He never answer... Ah Wei is asleep.. Ah Cheng out field.. Roar.......Who can tell me what to do........ How can I put a stop to this.. Yes I knew it last year about some things may happen to Granny but I didn't expect so fast.. I wanna prevent it... Roar.......... Daddy around, he will tell me what to do. Argh!! This is really making panic.... Making me frustrated.. Making me totally dunno how to control my emotion............. My mind is totally over-ruled by my emotion.... While typing this I am still crying........ My heart feels the same pain as the moment my dad left me......... I HATE THIS PAIN!!!!!!! Could I take over her place? I would rather I am the one facing this and not my dad neither is my Granny............ :(
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Giddy & Moody
Hmm.. Today woke up kinda late.. Went on MSN.. Chatted with Bee & BaoZhuJie..LoL.. Planning to start exercising again as I think my foot should be able to be back on track.. After recuperating for so long.. Went online to check the booking for courts.. Its fully booked.. Wootz.. No choice.. Got to wait till Sept le.. Think better chances..Maybe can head to gym for the time being.. Hmm.. Bee sent me her econs assignments.. Helped her do researched and sent the links to her email.. Hopefully those will be of some helped.. Her assignments seems to be easier than mine.. Wootz.. Although ours are from the same Uni but different course.. LoL..Then talked to Rong on FB as she told me Stage got sell drinks.. Hmm.. I will helped her find and buy some for myself too.. Hehez.. I gonna visit Stage shop in TW also.. Hahaz.. Not forgetting the stuffs that some of my friends asked me to help them find..Well.. Planning to meet up with my Mitsui Colleagues too.. But waiting for them to plan.. LoL.. Long time didn't them le.. Hahaz.. Hmm.. Suddenly felt giddy out of a sudden.. Went to take a nap.. Woke up le and its rather moody.. Mum went out with my cousin-in-law.. Then I am alone at home.. I forgot to switch on the lights before heading off to nap.. I woke up and felt moody out of a sudden.. Hmm.. I missed Daddy.. Whenever I having a nap, he will be the one switching on the lights so that when I woke up, I won't bang into anythings.. Haha.. I got the habit of walking without opening my eyes until I see light as its too glaring.. Haha..Went to switch on all lights.. Then went to take a bath to freshen up myself.. Planned to Toa Payoh as I am craving for KOI.. Had my fave Popeye Mashed Potato too.. Hahaz.. Met Serene to there.. Chatted a little.. But my mind was thinking about Daddy.. Every weekend used to go there play Badminton and Jogging.. Before heading for our breakfast at Eldest uncle's house. Why Daddy had to leave so soon? Why he can't live to 80? Why he can't enjoy the stuff which mum is enjoying now? Why have to be so unfair? I have many whys in my mind.. But all have no answer.. Nothing can me moody easily but the thinking of my dad will just make me feel empty.. I really regretted for working OT the previous night and not having dinner with Daddy.. His last dinner was alone as I called home and told him to eat first without me as I am working OT.. Thanks to my boss.. Made me work till 9 plus by doing things which next day also can do bcoz of a stupid reason of accounts colleagues everyone staying and I wanna leave.. I felt bad easily so I stayed.. Got home around 11pm.. I am too tired and headed off to bed without having my dinner..This is the regret in my life which I can't even mend it back.. Thinking of it just made me cry.. After my dad passed on.. No matter how hurtful things may seem... How harsh the words it used to make me cry.. No longer appeals to me.. My tears will not flow and I will just go against it.. But my tears will flow only when Daddy's photos were seen, Daddy's images flowing through my mind or I dreamt about Daddy.. That's when u know my heart is crying.. I know no matter how long it takes.. Time will never mend this for me.. It will always be wounded.. :'(
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I Flew KW Plane Again
Today actually wanna meet Ah Pek for Yum Cha.. But msg him said postpone.. As I heading JB.. Wanna go see how is my photo being developed..Hmm.. Xiao Jiu best de lo.. Tell me that he haven't do coz he said background hard to change as last time the old one is black so our hair can't really be seen.. Faintz.. I told him.. Dun change background lo.. Juz use back what it is and enlarge it.. I wanna hang it in my study room..Hmm.. Had steamboat again.. No appetite.. I ate really little nowadays.. Half bowl of rice, I am full and steamboat I only ate 2 small bowl.. Xiao Jiu was shocked at my appetite as normally I will sit and eat till the last..Everything is so stressed up.. Hmm.. Had been talking to Kor Kor during the day when he called.. He seems to be relaxing lo.. Hmm.. He asked what I wanna buy in US.. I told him, get me the limited edition of Pooh bear he can find.. Hahaz.. He gave a fainting voice.. Wootz..When heading back from JB.. SG custom door was locked for 15 mins.. The people inside was like having a break.. Hmm.. Dunno what happened.. But after going through the custom.. Waited another 15mins for the freaking bus.. Zzz.. Mum then grumbled to me when we were home that I shouldn't have postpone my driving test to help........ She didn't complete her sentence as she know what she gonna say will made me angry and I may even dun wanna eat for days..Well... I just dun like my family to argue or have dispute over "$".. Its a very sensitive issue.. I dun care who will I offend in my family.. Whoever compare or say ill of another person bcoz of "$".. Be prepared to be shoot by my words.. As it will be not some soft but polite words to stop u from talking about "$".. I will be harsh and straight to the point.. I will not care about how he/she feels when I said that.. Kor Kor knew about this incident.. He is always the one to stop them from saying if not another one will kanna my harsh bullet.. ;pI only like to talk to my cousins because when I talk to them, I dun need to bother about my tone.. I am happy or angry.. They hear it through my words and not by tone.. Well.. Because I always say what I wanna say and forget about the tone I am using.. If want me to focus on the tone I am in to make sure that person understands me... Then I won't talk much and I will just give one word reply.. Therefore why sometimes I am so reluctant to talk because if people who understands me won't be bothered with wat kind tone I am talking..Kor Kor is right.. I do not have to bother what others commented.. As long as I am comfortable being myself.. Then carry on.. Do not have change to accommodate the other ears.. If I am doing that, I got to think how many ears I got change to accommodate it.. It will then be tiring for me and being not happy.. But he said comments are meant to be appreciated.. Doing it or not is my decision.. Hahaz.. Thanks to Lao Ge... Heez.. Although he is so far.. But what he said made some sense to me.. LoL.. Thanks Lao Ge for the encouragement.. I will jia you de!! ^_^
Monday, August 16, 2010
Last BM Class
Today went for my last BM class.. Hoping to get tips for exam.. Roar!! Stupid lecturer merely just go through what she taught and wrote very few on board.....For me is still ok as I didn't lesson for 2 times.. So that 2 times were actually part of exam.. Kns... Wanna left class at 8.30pm de.. But suan le.. See till the end will she say anymore.. At first before the break time.. Things were going smoothly...But after the break at 8.30pm....... She started her bullet train and I got to chase her speech and writings.. She flipped the slides as though our eyes could see what to study.. I got mad and told Irene that she's driving bullet, I got to master driving rocket in order to catch up with her.. Bloody....Its all so fast.. I got not much time to highlight but use pencil to tick on the slides that needed to be study.. Planning with Benson to go Airport to study one of the days.. I am not so good in BM.. Need to borrow his notes to copy.. Gonna ask the rest too.. I am really stressed.. Well.. A lot thought studying Degree is easy but I can say, it will make u wanna bang wall much more to see whether yr head is it as head as the wall.. Like throwing an egg against the wall and hoping it won't crack.. Wootz....... But I gonna try my best to attain the results which is desired to be aim.. I will not let the people around me whom pinned their hopes on me to be down the drain.. :)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Over The Weekends
Spent my weekends with my family.. Brought mum to eat at Manhattan.. Mum enjoyed the food.. Talked a lot to bro too.. Heez..Then we went shopping at NTUC.. Mum wanna do marketing.. I was attracted to the sweets on the shelving.. Bro was stoning most of his time.. Then we decided to head home.. Hmm.. My stomach was feeling weird this few days.. Keep having runs.. Zzzz... Dunno what happen.. Heck..Went out to meet Serene for supper at my house nearby Dim Sum.. LoL.. Saw dad's friends at coffee shop.. His usual drinking gang.. Well.. Somehow its like, if my dad is still around.. He will be sitting there drinking with them..Well.. Nothing much about weekends as mostly with family.. Exams drawing near.. A lot of things happened and solving every little issue of it.. The kids are giving probs also.. Wah.. My head is so small.. Why am I alone to solve all this shit that got nothing involve me but yet I am being dragged in. Roar..Next week is the worse time table I ever had.. Monday & Friday class.. Kns.. Both are B's.. Monday blue with Friday Burnt.. Kns... Tues heading back JB.. Nowadays weather keep raining.. Dunno how many times I am walking in the rain liaoz.. I am keeping my fingers crossed as I bound to get sick soon.. LoL!!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Designing Blog Skin is Not Easy
Went to my Da Jiu house today. Actually wanna ask Da Jiu regarding school stuff. As some of u know la, my Da Jiu is Uni de lecturer. Why do I wanna study till so high, the reason is meant for my family to know. I do not wanna share about it.Hmm.. Had dinner and Da Jiu was playing on his com. I told him I going Taiwan after my exams. He said good, went out to explore not bad. Then he said he got friends there. If want he can ask them bring me around. Sounds not bad. Then after that we talked about sch.He asked me the lecturer in our school good a not. I was reluctant to say. Da Jiu said if here not good ask for a transfer to go over UK. Haha.. UK wait till I graduate then go. Heez.. Not now.. I still prefer to study in SG.Then we chatted a little. He was commenting on KW's exam results. **KW u made Da Jiu angry again la** Wah.. Stress is doubled.. Ya thanks to my good cousins. I aiming at least a B or C= 2nd Class.. First class really hard to get. Our school passing rate is 40 marks. Can get 2nd class I may laugh le. Hahaz..Hmm.. Mum finished her stuff, kinda lazy to walk out all the way to the bus stop.. Mum saw got cab, so we cabbed home instead. Dun wanna ask Da Jiu fetched us home as his eyesight at night not good.Back home and helped my cousin designed his blog. Its not easy lo. He want so many things and didn't even supply me the photos. Roar!!! KC your blog I read le.. Freaked out.. Write about yrself la.. Faintz.. I know what's your situation like. I didn't blame u. Heez.. Kor Kor Jia You!! If can ask KW assist u la.. Ah Pek always talk so much. LoL..Its still not done.. Hahaz.. I will try to do asap. Hehez.. Erm.. Gonna go keep my mum accompany and watch show.. Bro not home.. Gonna rain soon.. Tonight can have a super cozy sleep.. Hehez..Lastly, Today is Friday the 13th.. Super Black and even stay indoors also got problems knocked on yr door.. Wootz
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Received An Email of Apology **Sweatz**
Checked my email at shop.. I was in shock mode.. My cousin, KC and his good buddy, Dee went to type some nonsense in my tag box and I sms to screw them tat day.. LoL..They freaked me out by writing apology letter to my email.. Wootz.. Super funny de.. Well.. I shall keep it private.. By their instructions, I needed to post this, "Please kindly ignore their conversation and they apologize for any misunderstandings caused.."Well.. They wrote kinda long.. Funny de.. Actually after saying them, I totally never care about it.. Hahaz.. Well.. I never expect such a formal apology de.. Hahaz.. Idiotz lo.. Made me feel bad now.. Zzzz.. I hardly will take things to heart.. I mean I say liao then I will juz forget it.. Hahaz..I let Xiao Jiu see what did our Ke Ai Lao Ge write.. Kor Kor gonna tio shoot when he comes back from US... Wahahahaz.. But I will sure missed this scene.. Xiao Jiu say he video let me see.. **Faintz**Erm.. Had steamboat for dinner.. But I was too hungry till gastric attack me.. Zzz.. Xiao Jiu helped me buy medicine.. Ate to subside the pain awhile.. Feel so sickly today.. Woke up with runny nose.. Roar.. Then got gastric.. WTH is wrong with today..Played with Shan.. Asked Xiao Jiu helped me developed a photo coz current one was fading.. Then he said he wanna enlarge it.. Hang one in my room at Granny's house and the other one gonna bring it back to SG and hang it in my room.. I asked him to develop one 4R size de so that I can paste it on my study desk..Tat pic is my dad's fave.. Heard from Xiao Jiu its taken when I am 5 and my bro was 2 at the studio.. Memories... Guessed what I even found my toy in the shop today.. Its still in shape.. Wahahahaz.. Somehow like back to the days when I spent the beginning of my life at there before headed over to SG to stay with my parents.. This is also why KC, KW and me were so close.. When we were kids, KC goes to sch near granny's house while Ah Yi will bring KW to granny's house to play with me.. Then when about time Ah Yi will go pick up KC and us all go makan.. Talking about it, its like so much had change.. Hahaz.. I remembered Ah Gong likes to bring us go seaside to play and tell us his stories.. Hahaz...Well.. The process of growing up is to accept the leaving of love ones.. But none left a painful memory in me.. They taught me a lot about life.. Frankly speaking when talking about all this, I dun miss them so much as I miss my dad..The feeling is totally different.. I tend to get over the lost of them easily.. But the lost of my dad, I still unable to take it.... I still called out to my dad when I having nightmares.. I try ways to take it and move on.. But its really damn hard...... Its so torturing inside..Frankly speaking, the hardest thing in life is to bear the pain of losing parents.. The pain is totally unbearable and you have to keep reminding yourself that they no longer around to be there for u when u r down..I won't deny that sometimes at home, I had queries.. I will just walked out of my room and goes, "Daddy I wanna buy........" I will paused there looking at the empty space he used to sit there every day.. Then I will like arghzzz what the hell happen to me, my dad not around le.. Wootz..Alright.. I am not emo-ing.. Its juz thoughts of sharing.. Hehez.. I will juz laugh it off and move back into my room.. Hahaz.. Well.. Its like a routine of my life.. Whenever I wanna do something or buy something.. My dad always the one I ask for opinions.. Hahaz.. I too used to my dad being around.. LoL...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Chionging Assignment
Hmm.. Today woke up around 10 plus.. Feeling kinda tired still.. Totally dun feel like talking at all.. Hmm.. Prepared and left for JB..John was given off today.. Hmm.. But planned to go JB le.. If not I would have cancel it.. Suan le.. Hmm.. Planning to meet him when returning to SG..Happily headed to JB.. Arrived in JB, mum went for haircut while went shop to put our stuff.. Shan was awake.. She looking forward to me carrying her but she was looking for my mum.. Hahaz.. Carried her and headed back to look for mum at City Square.. Juz nice Mum finished her hair cut.. LoL.. Shopped around to buy wallet for Lai and finally I bought my first pair of Crocs.. I gonna wear tomorrow.. Heez...Then went to buy drinks for Xiao Jiu and Ling.. After that headed back to shop.. Aunty Nik cooked our lunchie.. Heez.. Had kway teow.. Then went bank to deposit money.. After tat sent Ling to tuition.. Visit Granny too!! I am too used to Granny's nag.. Hahaz.. Actually planned to meet John de.. But after receiving a sms, I changed my mind.. Got moody and Xiao Jiu told them said I was happily talking in the car with him when on the way back.. Suddenly I quiet down a lot.. But at tat moment shop got a lot of people so they didn't asked much.. Helped out a little too.. Crowd is gone.. Xiao Jiu & Aunty Nik started to ask me what happen.. Mum wanna know too.. I told them nothing and juz merely said I am tired.. They thought I was stress out from school..Took a nap.. Wah.. Its almost 5.45pm.. Aunty Nik asked me to help her to pick up the kids and go pasar malam to buy food for dinner.. Heez.. Mood got better.... Hahaz... Went off to pick Xing from sch.. She totally never saw me standing in front of her and bang into me.. Wootz.. Blurz.. Then we headed to fetch Lai and followed by Ling.. The pasar malam is near Ling's tuition centre.. Bought half duck and went to buy bubble tea to cheer myself up a little..Bought for the kids as well.. Hehez.. Intend to go back every tues if there isn't any class.. My promise to the kids.. Hehez.. Saw the pancake with corn.. Hmm.. Bought 2 packs of it.. When on the way back to shop.. Ling asked me why I bought 2 packs.. I told her juz I am hungry as u knw what month it is nw.. Kinda lame as that wasn't in my thoughts.. LoL..Had dinner and its kinda late.. Told mum to head back le as I wanna chiong my assignment.. Will be sleeping late tonight.. Gonna get it done by hook or by crook.. There's a slight jam and no bus situation.. Mum wanna take cab.. I stopped her.. She was curious about why I dun wan take cab as normally when no bus, I sure take cab but not today..I told a lame but acceptable excuse is saved money.. LoL.. If people who know me, I dun even bother about how much I gonna spend when I am with my family.. Reached back around 10.30pm as expected.. Bro called, passed the phone to mum.. Weather freaking hot.. Took a cold bath.. Feeling refreshed.. Hehez..A recapped for the day was that I am kinda clumsy and moving around without my mind.. Knocked into people, things and now even at home I am still knocking into the table.. I wonder will there be bruises surfacing tomorrow on both my arms and legs.. Hahaz.. Somehow tired is really a good describing word when a person is totally down on mood.. LoL..
Monday, August 9, 2010
Happy National Day SG
Hmm.. SG turns 45.. LoL.. I fell asleep when watching it.. I was kinda tired.. Hardly sleep.. Overly stress.. Roar..Counting down to exams but way before that I gonna get my bloody assignment done up.. Its freaking confusing and not all websites are able to be taken as reference for example wiki.. Roar.. One source down... Having xyz running through my brains while I was flipping my resource text book which I bought not long ago and looking at the webbie.. Making my eyes going round in a twirl..Had been up since morning woken up by my dad's fave song.. Went to google it.. Played it many times on youtube.. I start to miss dad.. During National Day.. We are always back in JB.. Having steamboat, talk craps and then back to SG and head down pubs near Lavender..Hmm.. A lot of questions from mum and bro regarding why I woke up so early.. Ya I am truly stress with school.. Yet they gave me tat kind of being amaze looks.. What the... Its like I am hit by stress with surprises.. Wootz...Mum cooked lunch while I was still struggling and banging my head against all odds.. Its something I got to overcome without help.. I was hoping dad was there to be my guide and tell me wat to do.. I feel so lost...........Felt the lethargic feel in my body but I pushed myself to the max.. When I told my friend about it, the answer was I used to laugh it off.. Now I felt it.. Really an idiot of life.. I had tried to console although I said things like tat.. Roar... This taught me to mind my words.. Now u know why I prefer to talk less..Hmm.. Dinner is the same as lunch.. Brain isn't working well.. Really can't think much.. Today seems like who talk to me sure kanna offend by me.. Heck la.. I really not in the mood.. Its like why this and that.. Its totally kind of feeling why muz like tat and why not like this.. All the time I always asked will there be someone who is true.. But frankly speaking.. When someone is true, u can tell.. I am not dumb to the part where I can't see.. So please dun take me as a dumb.. If u are smart than show me how smart and capable u can be..I always never feel life is meaningful.. Facing all the failures and learnt from it.. Somehow there will people trying to poke the pain u are feeling.. It is hard to believe in something and someone tries so hard to tarnish the thought of it.. If without putting in effort, I doubt there will be results.. I am not a turtle who chose to hide in my shell.. I rather face it and brave it.. If its a failure, I will still be standing on my own 2 feet.. Like wat I had said, every failure is a lesson.. U learnt it, correct it and move on.. If because u afraid things might happen again, then I would say u did not learnt the assets of Prevention is better than Cure.. When things bound to happen, we will try to prevent it from happening.. Then regret and cure it later.. Whats' the point.. If regret later and cure it, then like tat my dad won't leave this world..He regret not taking good care of himself.. He now wanna live but he wasn't given a chance anymore.. He is a soul with an empty shell roaming around.. Looking at us in a different world.. Communication was totally cut.. He can hear us but we can't hear him.. What's the point of regretting when u know u can actually prevent it.. I always asking myself why I am living.. Wat do I contribute being alive.. I dunno.. I always felt when I wanna put my whole heart into something, irregardless what, there bound to be people around me pour cold water.. Have u people thought of how I felt whenever u open your bloody mouth.. While I tried to care about your bloody feelings before I said because I know u are upset.. Aren't kindness being repaid with kindness or kindness are meant to be repaid with ungratefulness.. Maybe I should not be nice to anyone but harsh instead and people who know me well enough know whether I will a not.. **ROAR**
Sunday, August 8, 2010
A Day Well Spent
Hmm.. Today went Vivo to get some stuff.. Bryan called asking wanna go his uncle chalet.. Find it a little weird la.. LoL... Totally dunno the people there.. Go also a bit boring.. But asked John & Serene.. Hahaz.. If they going then I go.. LoL... I walked Ah Kor and didn't notice him at all until he called me.. My reaction was, "I thought u were at Tampines Giant, How come u are here?" LoL... Then I realized he was transferred to Vivo Giant months ago.. Wootz..Hmm.. John heading back SG.. So asked him wanna come Vivo a not... But when he arrived, we had done our shopping.. LoL.. Sent Mum & Bro home then we headed to pick Serene and went KBox..Hmm.. Today eve of public holiday.. Zzzz... No promo... Well.. Since the rest are ok.. I always majority decides.. LoL... Nvm.. Anyway I hardly go out.. Spent a little more today should be ok.. Hmm.. Looking out on my expenses.. So far so gd.. But hopefully can cut down more.. Hmm.. Trying to look for biz.. Idiot plane flyer.. Say wanna talk about it.. In the end keep push forward.. I try to look for mine first.. Do whatever I can... At least income won't die down.. I just dun wan mum to work as she always tio bully.. I understand my dad's implications why he doesn't want my mum to work.. Bcoz his health wasn't in good condition, he had no choice but to let my mum work but grumbling into my ears.. LoL...Hmm... After Kbox went to Makansutra for dinner.. The food standard dropped.. Sianz.... I know I shouldn't have suggest go there eat le.. Wootz.. After dinner went 7-Eleven buy drinks.. Some words are meant to keep.. LoL...Hmm.. Wasn't really happy but heck la.. Maybe lack of sleep yest.. Having insomnia.. Dunno why.. Keep kanna wake up half way through my sleep.. But not having nightmares.. Weird.... Hmm.. After sending Serene home, talked to John on the way back to my place.. Chatted awhile before I went up and he drove off...A little of confession here and there.. Well.. Time somehow is the remedy for all things.. LoL.. Hmm.. Sometime u would ask yourself whether had u totally let go of yr past... I could say I had as it doesn't really matters anymore.. Memories are part of the brain.. It can be forgotten easily when one have the desire to do so.. When u know that there isn't a point of holding but let go.. Memories will fade.. LoL... Well.. There bound to have somethings to let u recall but not that pain as when it happens.. Hahaz..Well.. Its kinda late.. Bound head off to bed.. Tomorrow SG birthday.. LoL... Holiday for us.. But I need to do my assignments.. No more lazy mood.. Hahaz....
Saturday, August 7, 2010
My Assignment Seems Dying
Long weekend seems long for everybody as SG celebrating her birthday.. Hmm.. Wanna start my assignment but seems dying to do.. Well.. I need to find one day to die die must do... LoL....Hmm.. Talked to my friend on phone.. Was devastated when talking to her.. Erz... I wonder why she can't just listen and agree.. Roar.... Drying up my saliva talking to her.. I wanna faintz...Well.. Intended to head out for dinner.. But kinda late and all of us are lazy.. So mum cooked yi mian for us to eat.. Had dinner le.. Chatted a little with mum & bro regarding where to go on Sun as initially wanna go Vivo in the evening de but I took a nap till kinda late.. Hahaz...Hmm.. Went online to play game.... No mood....... Then went on msn.. Talk to Plane Flyer ~ Benson as he asked about assignment.. Its dying on us.. Asked the rest all was somehow seems dying too.. Die liao la.. Deadline on 11 Aug.. Need to gambatte liao...Hmm.. Not long John online.. Had conversation with him & Serene... Then planned to meet up on Sun... Time need to wait till he is back then decide.. LoL...I wanna eat the Pancake with Corn... Normally 小舅 went to 大马's Magnum outside there buy de.. The uncle normally selling at there.. But if not have to wait till Tues, go Pelangi there got pasar malam can buy also.. But I dun like as not so nice.. Prefer the one at Tun Aminah's Pasar Malam which is only available on Sat... Zzzz... Wanna eat one Pancake so mafan.. Last time town got sell.. Now town not a single sight of it.. Sobz....Btw that's also my dad's favorite.. LoL... Hmm.. Played awhile and stone.. Then John offline awhile later.. Chatted with Benson & Serene (different windows).. I felt tired and stoney.. So decided to offline..Wah.. Kinda dead.. Sat somehow spent at home without much activities.. So dead.. Wootz.. Hmm.... KC should be on plane flying to US le bah.. Somehow I had heard complaints about KC and KW.. But hopefully none will spread into 大舅's ears.. If not another blow of family disputes will arise.. What happen last year had been enough as I dun wanna go into another conflict with their mum and kanna another blow of attack which I can't retaliate.. The scar had gone but its not gone in my heart.. I truely bear it in my mind as how she treated my family when my dad passed on.. I totally regretted being so nice to her when Uncle Mike passed on just 3 days after Ah Gong.. At that time I am only 10.. Life is so tiring.. Can I take a break from it? LoL...
Friday, August 6, 2010
Wonderful Dinner Gathering
Today did a little of my assignment.. Hehez.. Lazy to do but force myself to do it.. LoL.. Played games on com & on wii... Relax here and there...Then received calls from the guys that they are on their way.. Serene will be coming late.. Mum is at 大舅's house.. Hmm.. Not long the guys reached.. Chatted with them and we ordered Canadian's pizza.. Everybody shared the meal cost together..After dinner we played Monopoly Deal and few rounds of blackjack.. LoL.. Listen to songs at the same time.. A lot of things went through my mind.. Words are kept and well hidden..Then John wanna go withdraw money so we went out for a stroll and had 豆花.. LoL.. Then when we head back... Its kinda late so Bry left first.. Then we carried on chit chatting till around 1 plus..Chatted a little with John.. LoL.. Shared a lot of common thinking.. LoL.. Hmm.. Its kinda late.. Gonna head to bed.. Tired.. LoL
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
JB & ECP Sea View
Went back JB and had no intention of doing anything till I received sms that an email was sent for me to develop photos..Checked it and forward to 小舅 ask him to read the mail and tell me how much to charge I did not remember all the prices..Most of the time I went back was to do the accounts for the past 1 week.. For instance, I dun earn profit when my friend(s) wanna develop photos..Well.. 婆婆 called and asked me to head back home for dinner before returning to SG.. No choice.. I always address my 婆婆 as Empress Dowager.. LoL.. Every time she say things, none will go against.. Haha...Well.. Headed up to have my dinner.. Accompanied 婆婆 awhile.. Kanna bomb a lot of questions.. But I pushed everything to KC.. Haha.. He going US for a week as engineer always travel out for job purpose.. Dun think 婆婆 will remember to ask him when he's back.. LoL..Then went back town to collect the photos.. Kanna reprimand by 小舅 for charging cheap.. He said, "Tell your friend(s) people dun develop single photo at all.. But u render this service.. Dun always charge them cheap as if they develop a lot..." I am lost of words.. Well friends ma.. Why charge them expensive... Then he said a lot.. I dun think its nice to say everything here.. So overall.. He told me.. If my friends want to develop photos cheap.. Then ask them go other shop.. I was totally silent.. Anyway he said friends are friends, business is business... Wootz.. Totally kanna shoot till I dunno how to retaliate.. LoL..Headed back SG after that.. Meet up with my 2 Best Buddies.. Wanna go K de.. But one having sore throat.. So we ended up went to ECP.. Serene joined us awhile later.. Enjoying the sea breeze.. Looking at the stars and thinking of Dad..Hmm.. We talked about plane and the distance travelled before it made an u-turn.. LoL.. Then we tried to say funny stuff.. Hmm.. I am brain dead as my brain was too focus on exams and my bloody assignment was screwed..Hmm.. Exams over, I can truly go enjoy a little before school sem starts again on Sept 13.. Heard my classmates say we will have the same Bullet Train next sem... Wah... I was like is tat my death bed? LoL...Yest at ECP a lot of memories with Dad & 阿媽.. Hmm.. Missing them a lot.. After that John drove all of us home.. Played game awhile then I am kinda tired.. Gonna go rest le.. Restless.. LoL
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
爱一个人好难, 讨厌一个人很容易
不知道为什么今天好不顺.. 中午到外头吃午餐然后帮我表弟增来买学校鞋以为婆婆打电话通知我.. 好久不前刚买一双给他, 那么快就坏了..在上学的路上买了KOI 泡泡茶.. 到了学校和同学会和.. 上课几乎都在转简讯也抄了老师给的考试练习但是好多事多讲的因为他说了一些不是终点但和其他的题目也连不上关系.. LoL...放学等了我小学朋有, 琳爱, 一起回家.. 她今天刚好也有上课所以就一起回.. 碰到一些令我好不愉快的事.. 把想吃夜宵的念头打消掉因为我不想因为一个人的拿不定决定而把食物的美味给败掉.. 出去因该是很快乐的就因为末个白痴破坏了我的Mood..回到家, 我妈看到我脸无笑容问了我发生什么事.. 把事情的来龙去脉都告诉了她.. 发了简讯跟他们说取消聚餐.. 读了简讯的两位朋友都知道我生气但只有那白吃不懂还问我为什么.. 那个时候我忍气的回"累"..John 回到家就帮我买了豆浆然后过来找我因为我要跟他换马币.. 不可能要我回到学校那里和他碰面.. 我不想在出门了.. 我原本想玩game的但是我不想和任何人说话.. 就等了好久大概每个人会offline时我才online.. John还在online.. 和他小聊了一会儿, 他就offline了..没心情玩游戏, 就surf net.. 不知不觉就想到了标题的词.. 人生真的很奇怪.. 我们想要好好爱一个人时, 我们却决得好难.. 一但爱上了然后吵架要分, 就觉得好难分.. 我们只会想到什么是难.. 但是什么是容易的.. 讨厌一人, 恨一个人, 说别人的坏话, 糟蹋别人是最容易的事..做人为什么不能简单一点呢? 和睦相处很难吗? 有时让一下别人会受委屈吗? 我真的好搞不懂.. 我一直觉得简单就是辛福.. Its typically like when people think for them.. They take others for granted.. I really dun understand what the heck is going on.. Can't they give in a little when others being considerate.. Everything also wanna take but dun wan give.. This type of people are too demanding in life and think too highly of themselves..When given solution on how to do it.. All it say is dunno.. It deems my mood... I wonder wat's the point of going when the atmosphere and situation already turns unhappy when tat person still doesn't know wat's going on.. I really had nothing to say.. If like tat next time I gonna be blunt with my words.. I dun give a damn on tat person feels.. Since tat person doesn't give a damn on how others feel.. Why should I be so nice then... I can't find reasons to be good in some ways if the same situation gonna surface again.. I will juz give answer of meet or dun meet... If tell me too much.. The conclusion will be dun meet... I won't persuade anymore... Waste my breath and effort to ask and in the end I got nothing but angered... Damn it.. Spoil my day.. I know I shouldn't had asked.. Partially also my fault for being nice to intro more friends for tat person..Well.. Tat person doesn't appreciate me but in turn said I made it feel as an extra.. Please la.. People talk.. Tat person kept quiet and listen.. Telling me that it can't come into the topic.. WTF!! Mouth is sealed or wat.. Dun understand dunno how to ask.. Want to make friends.. Then bloody open your mouth.. Kept it shut as if people will understand u... I had kept this anger in me for too many days..... All accumulated and blown off..... Ya its all linked.. Tat person only know how to blame others but frankly... I wonder did it look at itself realizing that it does have faults sticking to it instead of blaming.. I dun say no one at fault.. We may neglect tat it doesn't know.. But we had try to get it into topic but it doesn't response and stare blankly at us.... We took the first step but it doesn't appreciate and blame us.. How do I feel? Discriminate my friend(s) to me not once but twice.. Wanting attention from my friend (s) but can't get it and say their bad or watever.. WTF!! Ps guys and gals.. I really dislike this kind of behavior..I am angered so I blog about it.. I know its not good to talk bad about others.. But I really dunno wat to do... Its really kinda fxxk up attitude of this person.. Firstly it meet my super good friend... Said bad about her because it can't get into the group.. Now.. I intro another 2 of my best buddies since 2002 and it said they focus on me more and it felt like an extra.. I really feel like telling it tat since going out with me & knowing my friends making it feel so extra then jolly well get out of my circle of friend and always be yr loner.. I tried to help it to know more friends so that it won't have to be a loner and enjoy the chilling, crapping and sharing with friends.. But wat type of attitude is this...... I am up to my limits... Should I carry on helping this person or should I give up and let it be wat it is and classify as pointless?Ps I am really angry till I dunno where to vent my anger... Dun meant to tarnish anything.. But its a way I hope I can get it off my chest and off to bed without it bugging me.. -.-
Monday, August 2, 2010
Stress Mode
Well.. As I could see my blog is lacked of updates recently.. A month had passed.. Dad already a year.. My exams drawing near..Apart from studying and mugging.. I had tried to distress by going back to play games with my friends.. Apart from that I meeting John and Bryan frequent for supper..My gastric attack me again after so many months of silent.. But this time the pain is unbearable.. But medicine ran out.. Mum gave something she bought from polyclinic also for gastric.. But in turn, it stopped my pain a little but gave me rashes all over.. Wootz...Then mum said go hospital see doc.. But she grumbled all the way there.. I wasn't happy... But I kept silent as I am tolerating the itchiness the rashes are creating.. I had to stop myself from scratching it.. Roar.. Its so unbearable..Life is so vulnerable.. Too stress u got sick.. My assignment is always hanging in the air.. No motivation to do.. Looking at it.. I was wondering.. Why I couldn't understand it.. Why so difficult.. But when reading the text I bought... Its like I had to understand it myself.. Wat the lecturer taught is wasting her breath..Well... Fri Serene came over to stay a night at my hse.. She intended to stay another day on sat but her mum grumbled.. Asking her to go home at wee hours of 3am which I personally think is unsafe.. I told her to negotiate with her mum tat she will be home on Sun 7am.. Her mum insisted.. Wootz.. I got no comments.. Accompanied her to take cab.. My mum is worried for my safety..Reached home.. Mum was grumbling about how Serene's mum could ignore her daughter's safety.. I told mum not to interfere.. Well every family has their probs.. But when not spoken about it doesn't mean no probs..Dee having exams this week.. But he came to find me yest as he knew I wasn't feeling well from my cousin.. Thanks lo my cousin so.. arz... I trying to drift further as I dun wan to be too close.. I wanna avoid him so that he won't pop anymore question of being together tat kind of stuff.. Many reasons behind about why I dun wanna and I dun like to explain.. So juz let it be..He accompanied me till dinner time.. Then he left home to join his family for dinner.. He see me play game while he was studying.. Then I took a nap after he left.. Phone start to ring.. LoL.. Disturbed nap eventually.. Sleepy tone.. Woke up around 10 then back to play game with Serene..Saw her friends.. Well.. I had no comments about them.. Really got a kind of unfriendliness in game.. But who cares.. LoL.... Erm.. I couldn't be bothered.. LoL..Well.. Today having lesson.. I dunno why I no mood.. I thinking whether should I go lesson or should I juz go for next week class.. Today class juz skipped it.. Hmm.. Thinking wat should I do.. I am so lazy and I rather stay home to study and do assignment... Should I? Wait till the time draw closer then I decide ba.. LoL...
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