Sunday, October 10, 2010
Happy Birthday to 大舅 & 婆婆
Today is 婆婆's Birthday and 2 days ago is 大舅's birthday.. LoL.. We celebrated is today.. Hmm.. I have not been talking much recently and kinda emo also..Since got back on Sat to JB.. I was like spending my time watching tv and sit around.. Play with Shan Shan awhile.. Bath for her and after that tug her to bed.. Kinda lifeless.. Did lots of thinking too..Well.. What I did every day seems meaingful.. But I just feel that something is somehow missing.. I just couldn't figure it out.. Today went out to buy drinks and bring Shan to go play at playground while I sit on the swing as I love since I was a kid.. Practically today was back to when I am 4.. The time when I spent my days in JB still.. Going market early in the morning with 婆婆.. Then after that head home to rest..Later in the noon will go playground to play on swing.. Then listen to 阿公 tell stories.. But in the end today is 婆婆 telling me stories about when I am a kid.. LoL.. Sound so fun.. Well.. When I am swinging myself on the swing.. Some thoughts just came to mind.. I realize what I had missed out in life.. I have what I wanted and I am contented.. But the part is missing is, I have my family, relatives and friends.. But I do not have a person I could share all my joy to.. For here, I dun mean sharing to friends but a soul partner instead..I just wonder have I bypass someone actually true for me be with or there isn't any.. In actual fact till today, I dun find anyone catches my eye yet.. LoL.. Erm.. But really thoughts of stablize is in me.. But who is the question which makes me feel that alright, I am still alone standing all by myself.. I think I shall stop talking about all this.. Its kinda dry here..Have been trying to stay home almost everyday apart from going to school.. I really do not have much mood recently.. That's why I blog less le.. Nothing much to talk about actually.. Its because today is a remarkable as is 10 October 2010 (10.10.10).. Its a good date & day for our family.. KC is back but he did not turn up at 婆婆's house.. Even if he came, I would avoid too.. Dee was there.. But I didn't talk to him and gave him cold shoulder.. He knows why.. I starting to dislike people who say this and yet do the other.. I mean if wanna do the other then say the other.. Why can't be true about it.. I won't stop neither will I say.. I will just respect the decision made..Recently, I also seldom contact some friends whom I always contact.. I just feel that somehow I couldn't trust some of them.. Well basically is by judging what they did.. I won't cut contact but less contact as I dunno why somehow I do not have anything to talk.. There's a draw back somehow or rather..I also felt that I have been crappy lately to hide my sorrows.. Well.. I do not like to let people know what actually I am thinking and feeling lately.. By listening and hearing out others is well enough already.. Talking to people and often being shut off.. I am use to it.. Like earlier, I have the urge to share my thoughts but somehow being cut off to be a listener instead.. I am dead tired of all this.. Why can't be there a person who is willing to listen to me.. Why am I always being the listener.. I just really dun understand.. Everybody wants a listener and I can play my part to be one.. Why can't they being the same to me.. No wonder in this Fxxking world there isn't a piece of fairness shit or is it the place I am living at doesn't give a damn shit about other people's thoughts and feeling but more towards caring on self thoughts and feeling.. I think like that lots of people will be opening markets and selling fishes..I think I had rant enough.. I have enough of this shits that sum up my life since day 1 of this year.. I really totally given up on everything.. I have no mood for anything.. Life is boring here.. I really thinking of migrating and start a new else where.. Really been tired to go through all this once again.. Its like life being back to zero and I just thinking since its back to zero.. Why not I start it off else where instead of starting it again at the same old place.. What if the same situation just got back to zero again in the next few years.. I already had enough of all this restart in my life... Its truely some kind of wasting time.. Haiz...Lastly, wishing them a Happy Birthday.. :)
| 爱好 |
| 达成 |