Thursday, August 19, 2010
Why It Reminds Me...........
Today went JB.. I had been trying to be happy after dad left me.. Joke around, play around with the kids.. Bring them go eat KFC and then bought food for Xiao Jiu..Mum went out shopping with Aunty Nik.. I told them next few weeks I won't be back to JB as after my exams I will be flying...After leaving JB went to meet John.. Went Bedok then Yishun.. I somehow felt not right.. I kept quiet and keeping my fingers crossed..When got home.. Mum looked at me.. Telling me Granny dun sound right today.. Then said Granny looking for me.. I told mum never mind.. Tomorrow then I call Granny..But who knows.. When I bath come out.. Talk to Serene awhile and hang up her call as helped mum to finish her food.. Then called John.. Talked less than a minute and hang up.. Thought let my phone had a good charge...But suddenly phone rang.. JB home called.. Hmm.. Wonder why so late.. I answered.. Its Granny.. Here's the dialogue.... My Granny speaks to me in Hainan.. I translate it..Granny: "Ling Hui.... Why u so late then reach home?"Me: "Oh.. I go out with friend ma.. Mummy say u find me... Is it because I today didn't go home visit u?"Granny: "Ya lo.. U naughty girl.. Granny cooked your fave.. But asked Aunty Nik bring down for u lo.. Erm.. I got a bad news to tell u.."Me: "Oh.. I will go back see u after my exams.. I wanna do Granny proud.. Hehez.. Erm.. What bad news? Dun scare me leh....."Granny: "Listen properly.. I may leave soon.. I not sure when but u got to promise me to take care of yourself, take care of Xiao Jiu & his family, Da Jiu, Mummy and Ah Cheng.. U are Granny's only hope... Remember u had always make me proud.. I leave them to u... Remember u are the pillar for them.."Me: "Why u telling me this? Did anything happen? U dun scare me.. Dun leave me like how Daddy did to me.. I won't be able to take this anymore.... Please tell me u will be ok..."Granny: "Silly girl.. U had knew about all this long ago.. U always trying to avoid this whenever I asked.. Since u tell me to tell u when I see or feel things not right.. Now I am telling.. U should be prepared.. I dunno when.. But can u promise me? If u want.. Try to be home as often as u can.. I will be happy if u are back every weekend.. If can't its ok.. But promise me to take care of them.. Dun let them being bully by u should know who....."Me: "Granny U making me scared....... Please dun tell me this.. I promised I will take of them no matter what.. I will do as u say.. I will not disappoint u.. But dun leave me alone.... I dun wan u to leave like what Daddy did.. Please tell me the day before u leaving.. Talk to me.. Let me accompany u to your last.. I wan to have u in my memories till your last.. I want eat all Granny's cooked food.. I wanna be with u.. I dun wan u to leave me.. Daddy just left last year... Dun make me go through another blow.. Granny please tell me u won't leave me..... Please....."Granny: "Silly de... Granny old le.. Anytime also will leave de.. U are the only girl in the family and the most obedient.. Granny can depend on u.. Dun go disturb Kor Kor.. Let him finish his course in US then tell him.. Dun think so much.. Granny will try to keep u company till my last.. I will talk to u everyday like when u were a baby till u grow up for school.. Go sleep ba.. Granny talked to u tomorrow.. But dun come back JB tomorrow.. Go to school.. Exam coming.. Go taiwan must enjoy yrself ok..."My reply is not important here as after that we hang up.. I really dunno what to say.. I am in dazed.. I have not been crying about anything.. Only thinking of dad then I will cry.. But my tears now flow as if its running tap.. Why.......... Its so sudden......I cannot tell mum about it... She won't be able to take it.. Last year she lost my dad.. How am I going to break the news to her that she may lose her mum too.. I am scared things would happen so soon till I can't react like my dad.. I dun wanna go through this again.. I really won't be able to take it.. Seriously I dunno what I am thinking now.. I can't imagine.. I feeling weak now in my heart.. Called Kor Kor.. He never answer... Ah Wei is asleep.. Ah Cheng out field.. Roar.......Who can tell me what to do........ How can I put a stop to this.. Yes I knew it last year about some things may happen to Granny but I didn't expect so fast.. I wanna prevent it... Roar.......... Daddy around, he will tell me what to do. Argh!! This is really making panic.... Making me frustrated.. Making me totally dunno how to control my emotion............. My mind is totally over-ruled by my emotion.... While typing this I am still crying........ My heart feels the same pain as the moment my dad left me......... I HATE THIS PAIN!!!!!!! Could I take over her place? I would rather I am the one facing this and not my dad neither is my Granny............ :(
| 爱好 |
| 达成 |