Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Its So Difficult to Communicate
Today after work, dragging my feet home.. I really dun feel like going home.. Mum totally never care about how I feel..
Today when I at work talked to 宝珠姐 and told about what happen... She said maybe I should go and if my aunt is still nasty.. Then I next time dun go le.. Well.. I heed her advise.. Thought I could have a nice chat with mum..
But she's still like telling dun pull long face and muz smile.. Freak la.. Who can smile to someone who treat u so nasty.. I tell her I can't.. She totally dun understand how I feel.. She still can say that I need to be so xiao qi ma.. I need to angry with her till like tat ma.. Cannot juz forget it.. I was like tat's my pride she had stepp on.. I am not a puppet.. But she totally never understand me at all.. She only care about herself and her thinking..
I really tired of talking to my mum... I dun feel like going back to have reunion with on fri... Totally no mood already.. 2nd day I am skipping my dinner.. Really dun feel like eating.. No appetite.. Its like totally disappointed with my mum.. Feel like moving out.. Its pointless to live with them anymore.. I rather live my own life and do wat I want..
Talked to Dee.. He said what the hell.. I not a kid anymore why my mum talk like as if she still rule my world.. I told him I need breather... Its like being so suffocating here.. He said I need to tolerate.. How to tolerate.. When my dad around, I am tolerating.. Now my dad's gone.. I still need to tolerate.. I am at my limits already..
I tell him if I gonna tolerate further.. I rather die.. Its really tiring... I really feel like dying.. I really feel like going to look for my dad and join him in the other world.. I totally no more strength to carry on living with 2 idiots in my family.. They dun bother about my feelings.. They do what they like and when I do what I like.. They disagree.. When I disagree with theirs.. They say they have right of way...
I really damn freaking tired.. Apart of cutting myself or jumping down or eating pills.. Are there any more other ways to die? I really wanna die... Its better than living.. Its so miserable man... I dunno why I got such a mum and bro... Really tired.............. If not to any ghost which I can't see, if u see my msg... Kindly bring me to the other world.. I really dun wanna live this life anymore... I WANT TO DIE BADLY!!! PLEASE MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE!!! LET ME DIE!!!!!!!
I WANT TO DIE!!!!! LET ME BE DEAD ANY MOMENT BEFORE CNY!!!!! LET ME RIP!!!!! I WANNA LEAVE MY MUM AND BRO... SINCE I AM NOT IMPT TO THEM.. KILL ME IN MY DREAMZ.. TAKE ME AWAY PLEASE!!!!!
I really hope my request can be heard............ T_T
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