Thursday, July 10, 2008
Today back to work.. Kinda Sianx.. Moody dun feel like going to work.. Basically my sleep this few days are base on medicine.. Medicine effects over I woke up and stare at the dark ceiling of my room.. Thoughts of buying sleeping pills.. Maybe I should buy bahx.. Hard to sleep.. Words wanna say but like hard to say..
Cry is what I am doing everyday.. But does anybody knows.. Feeling miserable can anyone feel it.. Everyday people see the sleepy and crappy Renee.. But what actually I am thinking and feeling.. I hiding it.. Going to work and try to do things.. But actually kinda no mood..
Today reach work I found my things are messed up.. Its all that stupid Operation Dept's Sandy.. Damn angry.. I arranged my things till like 10plus then can start to do my thing.. I can't tolerate anymore and I went to find Lela, Operation Manager.. Asking her why Sandy so free to come bother about Accounts Dept thing.. I tell her if Sandy like to do Accounts job so much, I dun mind to swap or just ask Pearly to pay me my July pay and she can do my work.. I can relax.. I really dun mind lohx coz take pay yet dun have to work.. Who also want lohx.. IDIOT!!
Today really super moody.. Office so politics.. I asking myself What's Wrong!! I can't figure out.. Feeling damn giddy.. Today went toilet due to upset stomach and in the end I vomitted what I eaten too.. It had been happening for days.. Its bcoz I no appetite.. Dinner I didn't finish at all.. Eat 2-3 mouth.. I either throw away or give my bro eat..
I really losing my mind.. Kept thinking this and that.. I really dunno.. Really hard to say what I am feeling right now.. I try to tell my Dear.. Never mind.. Taking things step by step bahx.. Earlier walk home, heavy rain.. Lightning striking.. No umbrella.. Good one.. Walk in the rain.. Kinda peaceful.. Rain washing my tears away.. For once I asked myself, have I forsaken my fear of lightning or I couldn't be bother.. My heart feeling burden..
I dunno when can I regain my smile..
I really dunno.. I really afraid.. This Fear is building inside me.. I AM SCARED!! Sorry due to personal reasons.. Some of the things I prefer to buried in my heart or tell my Dear and my peeps..
| 爱好 |
| 达成 |